A new name.. The Anime Murder Files
by Princesa Escura
Summary: This time.. the gundam people didn't do it!! Surprising isn't it?
1. Yeah.. there's no need for Tenchi!!!!

Things are going to be a little different in this file.. but don't worry.. things will work out... mwhahaha... Oh and I still don't own Gundam Wing... or anything else for that matter..  
  
My eyes stared lazily out a window. We hadn't had a case in days, what was going on? Had the people from Gundam Wing gained a conscious? Became model citizens for once in there bloody lives? It appeared that way, but I was suspicious.  
  
The door to my office slammed open with a bang. "Kaige!" My boss bellowed with his mouth wide open. I jumped up eagerly and grabbed his arm. "Did someone die, please tell me someone's dead, I need something to do!! What's happened!! Tell me!! Tell me now!!" I practically screamed in his ear.   
  
Somehow he managed to pry himself from my grip. "We have work, but it's not coming from those Gundam people this time." My eyes widened in shock. All of our work thus far had come from "those Gundam people". "Then who the hell is it then?!?!" Latching on to his arm once more.  
  
He shook his head and pulled his arm away once more. "Ever heard of a guy named Tenchi Masaki?" I nodded my head slightly. "You mean that guy that lives with all those girls?" He nodded and handed me a file. "He was murdered last night, drowned in his bath." He turned and left my office, leaving me with my new case.  
  
And that's how my work has now become.. The Anime Murder Files!!!  
  
Case No. 4- Which Hoe Killed Pimp Man?   
  
Investigating Detective- Kaige  
  
The Victim:  
Tenchi Masaki, he went to take a bath. He never returned from the bath. He was found later face down in the tub. Signs of struggle were everywhere, there was no doubt that he had been murdered.  
  
The Suspects:  
Ayeka- She wants Tenchi for herself. Was it enough to kill to keep him from the others? If that's the case, it was a good idea, but not a smart one.  
  
Ryoko- Had Tenchi wanted to marry someone else? Had she been pushed over the breaking point. Or did she feel that if she couldn't have no one could?  
  
Sasami- Was she tired of everyone fighting over Tenchi, did she want attention? Or did she want Tenchi too? Did this young girl kill for any reason?  
  
Washu- Did she kill him for one of her experiments? I don't think she wants him too, but anything is possible with murder.  
  
Mihoshi- She's not very smart but, she still has enough brains to know how to kill someone. Unless her stupidity is all an elaborate plot to throw the cops of her trail.  
  
Kiyone- She's one of the only people who don't seem to want Tenchi? Did he know something that she didn't want him to tell anyone? Did she kill to keep a secret?   
  
The Setting- The Masaki house.. or the brothel, as I had come to call it....  
  
And the investigation begins...  
  
I arrived late in the afternoon to begin my investigation. I began by questioning Ryoko. She looked quite heartbroken by Tenchi's death and was drinking a little too much "tea" if you catch my drift. "Look, all I want to know is did you kill Tenchi Masaki?"   
  
Ryoko looked at me oddly and held out a cup of "tea". "It looks as if you need some of this too." I took the cup happily and drink it all in one swallow. "That's some good shit!" Ryoko handed me a jug of the "tea" and we happily drunk the afternoon away.  
  
Later that evening...  
  
I stumbled drunkenly away from Ryoko. "You knows... someone as.. nice as you.. can'ts be the killer." The next thing I knew I was questioning a toaster. My drunken stupor slowly faded as I realized what I was doing.  
  
A giggle alerted me to the presence of someone else. I turned to find a young girl with blue pigtails. "Why is your hair that color?" A look of confusion replaced the amused look on her face. "That's my natural hair color, and who are you?"  
  
"I'm investigating Tenchi's death, I take it you're Sasami." The girl nodded in reply. I pulled my gun from it's holster and advanced on her. "Now, did you kill Tenchi?" The girl burst into tears. "No, how could you think I had anything to do with Tenchi's death, we all loved him." She ran from the room.  
  
A short red-haired woman came into the kitchen next. "Where's Sasami, I'm hungry!" I swung my gun at her. She just shook her head and turned me into a water nymph. "Now you stay that way until you can learn to be friendly. I glared and tried to bit her ankle. She ignored that and left the room.  
  
I sat down in a corner of the kitchen. If Washu had been the killer she would have just used him in a project or killed him in a different manner. That left only three more people and I had an idea of who it was. I pulled myself from my thoughts and sneaked around the silent Masaki home.  
  
Noises came from the bath. I entered the room with as little noise as possible. My eardrum nearly burst as a shrill laugh resounded off the walls. "They'll never find out it was me." The purple-haired woman talked to herself. She didn't sound like she was quite sane at the moment, but I stayed to hear more.  
  
"Now Tenchi will never leave me, for I'm the only one who can see Tenchi's ghost." If only I could use my gun. My only hope would be to get Washu to listen to reason. Which wouldn't be easy.  
  
Hours later...  
Washu was putting the finishing on her experiment. Which had required the blood of a water nymph. She had changed me back after repeated pokes of the needle. By the time I reached Ayeka she was raving about Tenchi's ghost talking to her. I killed her out of mercy and blamed the whole thing on Washu.  
  
Washu gave me evil looks as the cops took her away. "Next time, don't try turning me into a water nymph!" I slammed the door shut and the cop's pulled away. Sasami gave me a sad look. "If only we had known that Washu was crazy and killed Tenchi, maybe we could of saved Ayeka." I just shook my head and walked away. Comforting little bastards was definitely something I didn't want to do.  
  
And the first case that didn't involve Gundam Wing was solved.. or half-assed solved is more like it..  



	2. Who Killed That Wo... I Mean Man?!

Well, It's been about a year since I've written one of these so prepare for some pent up craziness. I'm still negotiating on Gundam Wing, so I still don't own it. But I do own an island in the Atlantic Ocean.  
  
Images of Chichiri danced in Kaige's mind. It was the only thing entertaining her in these long months since the last murder. If something didn't happen soon, she'd kill someone.  
  
The nearly silent creak of her office door opening had her shooting out of her chair. A very drunk Heero Yuy fell on top of her. "Heero! Love, please tell me someone's dead!" Heero shot her a pained look. "No."  
  
Kaige pushed him to the floor. "If someone doesn't die in the next minute Heero, consider yourself dead meat." Kaige brandished a sword evilly.  
  
Flame entered 10 seconds later to find her friend sharpening the already too sharp blade. "Guess what?" Kaige turned crazed eyes on her. "President Bush has decided to let me take over?" Flame shook her head. "We've got work."  
  
Case No. 5- Who Killed That Wo… I mean man?!  
  
Investigating Detectives: Kaige and Flame  
  
The Victim:Nuriko, from Fushigi Yugi. In the end, Nuriko and the others were brought back to life for my amusement. Nuriko was knocked out and strangled to death.  
  
The Suspects:  
Miaka Yuki- Had she become greedy? Wanting both Hotohori and Tamahome for herself? Did she kill Nuriko because of his infatuation with Hotohori? I don't know, but if you'd seen that hungry gleam in her eye, what would you think?  
  
Yui Hongo- You'd think she'd have no reason to kill Nuriko, but if she'd betray her best friend, why not kill one of Miaka's friends?  
  
Tamahome- Is he a Homo-phobic prick? Was he only bidding his time until he had no more use for Nuriko? You never know with these characters.  
  
Hotohori- Was he sick of being hit on? Did he just want to live in peace? I would, if I were him. In fact, I'd kill for that peace, would he?  
  
Chichiri- He may have done it. But even if he did, I'll find someone else to blame, if ya know what I mean, ya know?  
  
Tasuki- You know he has a temper about him, it goes with the red hair. Too bad he's Flame's property…  
  
Mitsukake- Well… umm… he's around and ya never know what those tall, quiet ones will do…  
  
Amiboshi/Suboshi- They've probably insulted each other in one way or another. The twins probably ganged up on Nuriko. Double your pleasure, double the fun? I think not…  
  
Chiriko- Did he use his brains and small physique to fool Nuriko into a false sense of security?  
  
::sighs:: This just is getting pretty long. The rest of the suspects are as followed: Nakago, Soi, Ashitare, Tomo, Miboshi, Taiitsukun, and Tama (THE CAT! OMG!!)  
  
The Setting- A nearby eatery in the book of the universe of the four gods. (How many ofs can you have in one sentence?)  
  
Enough with the Prelims! Let's get started…  
  
Kaige clutched her head. "Flame-chan, I don't feel too good. I blame it on the gods." She shook her hand at the sky. "You'll pay for this!" Flame rolled her eyes impatiently. "You've been sick for a couple of days now." Kaige speared her an indignant look. "Let's go then."  
  
They had barely steeped through the door when a vacuum-like force started to suck at them. Miaka was "FEEDING". "Dear God! Or Gods! Someone stop her!" Eventually Miaka stopped, when there was no more food left. She looked around with a confused look on her messy face. Her hungry eyes turned on the occupants of the eatery.  
  
Flame jumped forward with her ever-present rope. Miaka was hog-tied and questioned accordingly. A unnoticed morsel of food was put just out of reach. Flame had rejected Kaige's idea of beating Miaka with her own limbs. That would require untying her. Miaka caved before the handy torture devices were even thought of. She had been having a "snack" when Nuriko was murdered. Which gave her an alibi for more than 2 days before and after the murder.  
  
Kaige stepped forward with her katana blade to cut Miaka loose. Opps! The blade was so sharp that Miaka was instantly cut to small unrecognizable pieces. Not mentioning that Kaige had cut a little too deep to begin with. (O.o) Kaige shrugged, not caring a bit. "Accidents do happen."  
  
"Wow, one down, fifteen more to go." Flame sighed. "We need to split them up or we'll never get done."   
  
5 hours later…  
  
After a leisurely break that lasted about 4 hours and 59 minutes, they finally got to work. Within that minute they easily crossed out 2 suspects. A rather embarrassing 2 suspects at that. Both Chichiri and Tasuki had been with them the night of the murder.  
  
Kaige and Flame exchanged sheepish looks. They had been drunk out of their minds, how were they supposed to remember every night of their wasted lives? I mean it wasn't important at the time… just a little nookie… (::Kaige notices all the looks:: Stop judging me!! ::gets out her rocket launcher and all look away::)  
  
An hour later…  
  
Four of their suspects (Yui, Nakago, Amiboshi, and Suboshi.) were staying at a nearby sleeping room, otherwise called an inn or a brothel. They ran into a distraught Soi outside the inn, brothel. "He… sob… sob… is… sob…" Flame grew impatient and bitch slapped her. The repeated slaps did nothing to stop her crying. In fact she died five blows later.  
  
They found the other four in bed together. No, sleeping is not what they were doing, ya know? Suboshi gave them an awfully hopeful look. "Care to join us, ladies?" Flame and Kaige exchanged a look before drawing machine guns. The four suspects were then riddled with bullets and bleeding profusely onto the linens. Flame shook her head. "I'm not paying for it."  
  
24 hours later (No longer in the book)…  
  
After going out to dinner and catching a movie ,Tomo was thrown out of a speeding car at them. His last words were: "Tama…" They exchanged looks and walked away from the bleeding corpse lying in the middle of the sidewalk. Screams and sounds of vomiting followed their progress down the street.  
  
"It could be either Tama or Tamahome." Flame commented unhappily. Kaige gave her a skeptical look. "It was the cat!" The ghost of Nuriko watched them, knowing his murder would never really be solved. (It's not our fault!! Really!! Don't make me get my gun!!) "Let's compromise." Kaige suggested. "You go have Tamahome arrested and I'll go kill the cat." They went on not knowing that Tasuki and Chichiri were the culprits. O.O (Drinking will really screw ya up sometimes, ya know?)  
  
Chiri and Tasuki are free to kill again!!   
AN: No cats were hurt in the writing of this story… Ok... well... I did go and kill Tama… but he's crazy!! I swear!! And remember.. all the characters killed magically get up and go home! Accept for those who I really hate and keep in my basement where I either use them as lab rats or kill them repeatedly.. 


	3. Sliced 'N' Diced Priestess

The Anime Murder Files  
  
Case No. 6 Sliced 'N' Diced Priestess  
  
Investigating Detectives: Kaige and Flame (Expect to see both of us as the investigating detectives from now on. Otherwise we'd both go crazy from inactivity and create our own work. If you know what I mean. ^_^)  
  
The Victim: Priestess of Seriyu, Yui Hongo. She was found in her home under suspicious circumstances. The initial officer on the scene is a dumbass who doesn't know murder from his ass. Good help is very hard to find.  
  
The Suspects: Miaka Yuki- Her best friend had betrayed her in so many ways. In her hunger- crazed mind, who knows what goes on? Her intense hunger could have turned to revenge.  
  
Tamahome (a.k.a. Taka in the real world)- Did he remember what actually happened in the book. Had Yui's treatment of Miaka angered him? Do dogs sniff their butts?  
  
Chichiri (dragged into the real world by Kaige)- Had he slipped his short leash to kill? I seriously doubt it; but hey, I drink a lot. -_-;  
  
Tasuki (dragged into the real world by Flame)- I guess you could just consider this the same as above, just change the names around or something. But hey, you really never know what those guys are capable of once Flame and I get drinking.  
  
Nakago- Had he used Tomo's damn shell to get into the real world? Did he go after Yui to get revenge for not granting his last wish, to become a god. Nakago's clever enough to do it. ^_^  
  
Tama- Is that damn cat haunting me for killing it? Is it trying to drive me crazy? Eh, what? Oh yeah, suspect for killing Yui. uhm. she looked at him funny? She bad-mouthed Mitsukake? She used his litter box? I don't know damn it! But if I have my way, that cat's dead!! DEAD YOU HEAR ME!! (A/N I don't actually hate Tama, but I find it amusing if I did, so bear with me please.)  
  
Tetsuya- He's Yui's boyfriend. Need I say more? Oh, I do? -_-; Well, maybe he's jealous of all that attention she got from her Seriyu warriors. or that he didn't get a larger role in the story. Ooohhh, he got to catch a naked Yui from the air, read a book, drive his car. That'd piss me off.  
  
The Setting: Kaige's apartment. In the aftermath of something you want to know nothing about. Wink, wink. ^_^  
  
In the dead of night.  
  
Kaige curled closer to Chichiri as a chill permeated the room. "Where's the blanket Chiri?" She asked while shaking his shoulder lightly. He moaned and glared lightly at her. "I was sleeping." He said mid-yawn, drawing out his words. She glared back and went in search of the blanket, searching blindly with her hands. Chiri yelped. "Don't grab that so hard!" She grinned sheepishly, though he couldn't see it. "Sorry."  
  
The phone ringing stopped her search entirely. Chiri got to it before her, switching on a light as he answered. "Hello? Yes, she's here. A murder, I'll tell her." Kaige's eyes widened happily. Work! She jumped across the bed, glomping onto Chiri. "Work? Someone's dead? Tell me! Tell me now!" Chiri pulled back slightly from the fanatic gleam in her eyes. "Yes, yes, you have work. You're to meet Flame at Yui Hongo's apartment."  
  
Before he finished his sentence, Kaige was haphazardly dressed and out the door. As an after-thought, she ran back and kissed him goodbye. "See you later, love." Not waiting for a reply, she left without turning back.  
  
2 minutes and 53 seconds later.  
  
Kaige stood huddled into her coat, waiting for Flame at the entrance to Yui's mother's apartment. The officer on the scene filling her in, which she'd force him to repeat as soon as Flame arrived. She grinned as she watched Tasuki drive up. He doesn't have a license nor many lessons in driving, but that didn't matter to Flame in the least. She was amused by his running over various garbage cans, animals, and people. Kaige glomped into her partner and friend's arm as soon as she stepped from the car. "I've been waiting for 2 minutes!! That damned officer wouldn't shut up."  
  
Flame patted her arm. "It's all right, I'll shut him up for you." Flame pulled out her handy bat from the car and waved Tasuki off. "He'll get a taste of bat." The oblivious officer, still spouting facts, got a bat to the face; repeatedly. "Much better Flame-chan." They entered the building discussing the case. "They said Yui was found dead in her bedroom. She appears to have been sliced with something blunt, what it was hasn't been determined yet."  
  
Upon entering the room, one thing was obvious; someone was very pissed off. Yui's blood covered every last inch of the room. "Damn, how much blood did that bitch have in her?" Kaige questioned off-hand. Flame shrugged. "A lot, hey, look at this." Flame pointed to a pair of broken sunglasses lying near the body. They were covered in a lot of gore, obviously the murder weapon. "Too bad you already killed that guy, I'd like to show him what the murder weapon was and." Kaige paused with an evil grin on her face. "Show him how Yui died."  
  
Kaige stared blankly at the sunglasses for awhile. Something about them was oddly familiar. She just couldn't put her finger on what it was that bothered her so much. "Flame, do you recognize these?" Flame nodded. "Though I couldn't tell you who owns them." Kaige shook herself out of her reverie and bagged them. "Are the suspects here?" Flame nodded. "Out in the living room, want to play 'bad cop, good cop'?" Kaige shook her head, the ever present evil grin reappearing. "How about bad cop, evil cop?"  
  
Flame shrugged and led the way out into the living room. Gathered there were, Tetsuya, Tamahome, Miaka, and a shell. Flame paused in mid-step. "We should have asked Tasuki to stay and Chiri to come." Kaige looked to her, slightly confused. "You think they could have done that," She stopped herself. "You're right, I'll go call them." Kaige went in search of a phone.  
  
Flame looked from suspect to suspect, stopping on Tetsuya. He looked different somehow, maybe it was just how beautiful his eyes looked. Had she ever seen his eyes before? Such a wonderful shade of amber. "Tetsuya, you look different today, new shampoo?" (A/N No, neither Flame nor I are this oblivious in real life, but hey, Tetsuya's too hot to go down for murder.) Tetsuya's eyes widened in shock. "Uh, yeah, that's it. I got a new shampoo."  
  
Kaige re-entered the room and immediately turned her eyes to Tetsuya as well. "Whatever it is, it sure makes you look different. Like your eyes are more noticeable some how." The room fell into an uneasy silence, only broken by the breathing of it's inhabitants. Flame and Kaige were both staring blankly into Tetsuya's eyes, as if they were being hypnotized. (A/N Thanks for the idea Hikaru-chan!)  
  
The door bell rang, breaking the spell Tetsuya seemed to be weaving with his eyes. Kaige made to open it and glomped onto Chiri. "Hi, you're my suspect." She said in such a cheerful voice that everyone in the room was exasperated. Tasuki entered the room after him and Flame was across the room in a second. The questioning was forgotten for a few minutes until someone's crying seeped in. Flame looked around the room to find the source of it, Yui's mother.  
  
"Why are you doing nothing to find my daughter's murderer." Yui's mother looked pointedly at Tetsuya, who glared angrily at her in return. "I think they're doing a wonderful job, please go on as you are." Kaige shook her head. "No, she's right. Take a seat, you hot, hot, sexy suspects." This comment actually made both of them blush and Flame grin. Miaka spoke up then. "Anyone have anything to eat?" All eyes turned to her in fear.  
  
Kaige stepped forward, despite her obvious reluctance. "Did you kill Yui, Miaka? Did she withhold food from you? Did you slice and dice her to eat her?" Kaige was shaking the girl now, angry for no apparent reason other then her intense hatred for the Priestess of Suzaku. The shaking had rattled Miaka's brain far too hard. She was brain-dead. "Damn it! Oh well, she would have eaten her friend's remains had it been her." More sobbing filled the room and the heart-felt cry of "MIAKKKKKAAAA!"  
  
Flame covered her ears as the shrill cry filled the room. Why'd he have to do that, Miaka was a useless, food crazed whore that had to die. She drew a katana from out of nowhere. (A/N This is know as the Heero Hole, but as to not confuse those who don't know about it, I will refrain from explaining.) The sword was soundless as it cut the mourning fool to pieces. The other's in the room were soon covered in blood. Kaige grinned happily at the death. "Good work, Flame-chan." Flame grinned evilly. "No problem, Kaige-chan."  
  
Another wail from Yui's mother brought her death as well. "ANYONE ELSE WANT TO WAIL LIKE A BANSHEE, BECAUSE YOU CAN DIE JUST AS EASILY!!" Flame screamed. The other's shook their heads and remained as quiet as mice. In the quiet afterwards, Flame and Kaige took stock of the remaining suspects. "By the timing of her death, I doubt Chiri or Tasuki could have done it, they'd have been in bed." That left Nakago, Tetsuya, and Tama.  
  
Kaige's eyes burned at the thought of Tama. That damn cat, it would pay for it's insolence. "I say we pin the murder on the cat and call it a night." She added something under her breath. "Then I'll call it a night after tearing it limb from limb." Flame looked to her with suspicious eyes. "I heard that." Kaige laughed, "Sorry, don't mind me."  
  
Flame then decided to be rational about the final choices. Nakago, is in the other world, and wouldn't come back to be arrested. If he was the murderer, it wouldn't matter in the least. Tama, well it's possible, he's a damned smart cat. But he's no where to be seen, so he must be with Mitsukake in the other world. He wouldn't have been able to get to this world with out a focus and to her knowledge, he had none. Then there was Tetsuya. She turned to look at him, falling into his eyes yet again. 'He couldn't have done it, his eyes are so honest, so beautiful. No, it wasn't him.'  
  
Kaige watched quietly as Flame finished her assessment of the final suspects. "It couldn't have been any of them, unless it was Nakago." This brought a response from the shell that wasn't exactly friendly, but a denial at best. Kaige sighed, "Then we didn't have the right suspects. It must have been her mother." A loud sigh of relief was hard from Tetsuya. When all eyes turned to him, he quickly explained. "Just happy that she's not still alive, she could have come after one of us next." It was a plausible excuse so they ignored the niggling doubt in their minds.  
  
And they left the apartment, with it's pile of decomposing bodies. Another case, supposedly solved. Tetsuya grinned as he followed them to the elevator. Maybe Yu Watase would make a spin-off anime about him. He pulled on the sunglasses he had retrieved and cleaned. He'd just have to show her what happens when he doesn't get his way. The elevator filled with his evil laughter as they went down, no one the wiser.  
  
A/N Yes, I had a little too much fun with this one. ^_^ But Tetsuya is a good character and deserves to have lots of attention. ::looks to the man holding her hostage with sunglasses:: Good enough, Tet-kun? ::turns back:: And he's really hot, and if he doesn't get more fans he's going to hunt you all down. O.O! 


	4. Death to the Pink Spore!

Hello, again, it's been quite some time since I've written one of these files. Things may be a little odd in this file. I'm doing a Sailor Moon one this time, but I'm not using the English names. After seeing it uncut I was just pissed off about many things they changed and I refuse to use those names. But I won't put them in the traditional last name before the first name. I'm trying to keep myself from being horrifyingly confused here. So just be happy that I used the original names. ^_^  
  
A/N- I own neither Sailor Moon nor One Piece. I wish I did, but that's just too bad. I will content myself in owning Zoro's little plush head. So enjoy my insanity!  
  
Warning- This one is going to be gory, and it may even disgust some people. Yet, I don't care… this one deserves all the gore I can put into it. ;)  
  
The Anime Murder Files  
  
Case No. 7 Death to the Pink Spore!  
  
Investigating Detectives: Flame and Kaige  
  
The Victim: A little pink spore that goes by the name of Chibi-Usa. This murder was especially brutal, and oddly enough both Flame and Kaige had nothing to do with it. She was severely tortured, as will be described in great detail. What was left her body was found in a park, being devoured by a homeless man.  
  
The Suspects:  
  
Usagi Tsukino- A number of occasions, the suspect was annoyed and pushed to the breaking point by Chibi-Usa. The pink spore tried to steal her man, again and again. What simple-minded fool would take that lying down?  
  
Ami Mizuno- Well, Ami's a smart girl. Probably just about the only thing she has going for her, so why not kill? It's only logical that she could get away with it.  
  
Rei Hino- Had Rei confused Chibi-Usa for Usagi? Had her anger driven her to finally get revenge for all those months of annoyance? It's a stretch, but it's possible! Don't give me that look dammit! Give someone a few drinks and pink spores can easily become tall, annoying blond girls.  
  
Makoto Kino- Makoto has a very short fuse, threaten something she loves and anything can happen. The question is, what had Chibi-Usa done to deserve torture? Err… forget I asked that. She's done plenty.  
  
Minako Aino- Like the others, except Usagi or Mamoru, her reasons to kill would be self-centered and unusual. Who knows what would set any of them off? It could be as simple as stepping on her foot or telling her she looks fat in her Sailor outfit.   
  
Sailor Pluto- A close confident of Chibi-Usa's. Had she stepped away from gate duty to kill her? Had years of posturing to the little spore drove her insane? Loneliness can easily turn into insanity. But hey, I like insanity.   
  
Mamoru Chiba- A very calm and self-controlled man, but what is he hiding on the inside? Could this poetry spouting idiot have a murderous intent? I sure hope so… he deserves a good bitch slap.  
  
Luna & Artemis- The cats! Together I'm sure they can accomplish just about anything. From world domination to murder! You can see it in their little beady eyes!  
  
The Setting- From a park in the small hours of morning to Usagi's home.   
  
Shining light chases away the dark…  
  
The park was quiet except for the sounds of birds chirping, rustling leaves, and an odd slurping. The young woman was out for her morning jog, as she had every other morning. Never before had she heard this slurping noise. Her pace slowed to a walk and she searched the area for what it could be.  
  
Her eyes landed on a bench not far from her present location. A homeless man crouched in front of it, hands digging into a bloody red mess. He ate at what appeared to be a dead animal, or so she thought. The sickened and disturbed her, even more so when the man picked up a severed ear and happily chomped down on it. She ran as fast as she could from the park, faster than she'd ever ran in her life.  
  
Later that day…  
  
Kaige stared silently at the new office help. A young man with green hair, three swords, and a very nice ass. She'd yet to ask his name, for his ass was far more interesting. The ringing phone at her elbow finally broke through to her over-stimulated brain. "Hello?" At the other end Flame gave her a similar greeting. The fact that she called her from her own office next door finally seemed to sink in. "Why are you calling? It's simple enough to walk over."  
  
In a lecherous voice, Flame answered her question. "But I'd miss out on the view over here." Flame herself was staring at another young man who prepared a new pot of coffee. The blonde-haired man himself was watching Flame, he seemed to be quite pleased about this. "Your coffee, Flame-san." He bounded across the room and set the cup down on her desk. "Flame?! You still there?!" Kaige's yelling drew her attention away from the man who seemed quite intent on draping himself across the back of her chair.  
  
"Yes, sorry about that. We have work." She said this with a degree of annoyance in her voice, watching the new guy flirt was far more intriguing then investigating a murder in the park. Kaige cursed loudly enough for the guy in her office to wake up from his nap. He glared slightly, turned over on his back and went back to sleep. "Guess the show's over for now, let's go." Kaige heard a voice on the other end of the phone that wasn't Flame's. "You sure that's all you want from me, Flame-san?" She heard the effort Flame put into her voice when she turned him down. "Yes, but only for now, I've got work to do."  
  
An hour and 54 minutes later… When the young man, Sanji, finally allowed them to leave the office…  
  
They arrived on the scene to see the police dragging a homeless man covered in blood away from the scene. "Please! I've got to finish my dinner! It'll go to waste." Kaige turned away from one gory scene to an even gorier one. "Hm, we have a mutilation on our hands." The coroner heard her comment and walked over to speak with them. "Not only that, this young lady was tortured. The poor thing didn't stand a chance."  
  
They both pulled on gloves and went to poke at the dead body with some sticks. A chunk of pink hair fell to the ground. Kaige gasped as she recognized it. There was only one person this could be, especially since this was one of the young girl's buns. Kaige's hand clasped the stick angrily. "Damn it, this was Chibi-Usa." The coroner gave her a look of respect, thinking that her anger was for the dead. "I wanted to kill her! Whoever did this will pay!"  
  
Flame nodded in agreement, then went on to poke the chunky pieces of the body some more. Not for clues, but for the hell of it. Chibi-Usa was a bane to anyone who crossed her path, and her death would not be mourned. At least not by those who knew her well. The coroner glared at the two of them. "Are you two quite done? I'd like to examine what's left of her, I'll get my report to you later." They both poked at the body parts one last time and left to gather their suspects.  
  
Fifty-five seconds later, at the home of Usagi Tsukino…  
  
All the suspects had gathered at Usagi's home, and seemed to be celebrating something. Upon their arrival, happiness quickly turned to false sadness. Usagi even managed to squeeze out a few tears. "People, could you stop this dumb crap, no one who know that damned spore would act this way." Kaige growled at the group and they all seemed to take the hint. "We weren't aware you knew Chibi-Usa." Luna said.  
  
Kaige nearly freaked out and hit Luna with a bat she held behind her back. "Calm down. You already knew those cats could talk." Flame held onto the bat, trying to keep the suspects from being killed this time. The struggle over the bat had it flying out of both of their hands and straight at Mamoru's face. Usagi screeched and went to him. "Mamo!! Are you alright!? Talk to me!!!" Ami reached over and took his pulse. "He's still alive, don't worry about him Usagi-chan."   
  
Flame's phone rang and she went off to answer it. The coroner had their report ready and used the Tsukino's fax machine to obtain it. She quickly scanned the fax and her eye's widened in shock. This was a lot of torture for one young girl to withstand. It was surprising that the spore had withstood even half of it. She rejoined the others to find Kaige wielding the bat again, threatening to beat the crap out of Usagi if she didn't stop her crying.  
  
"Kaige, we received the coroner's report. She was tortured quite a bit." Kaige turned to Flame with interest. "Why don't you read it for everyone. I'm sure everyone here can appreciate the damage done to that damned spore." She took a seat apart from the group of suspects, trying to control the urge to beat Usagi. Flame sat herself and began to read.  
  
"To begin with, a sharp device, something like claw's or rusted nails were used to scrape her up. She was bleeding quite a bit and most likely screaming her little head off. It's surprising her moon didn't appear, that is if she hadn't been drugged. The drugs in her system alone could have killed her off eventually. But the killer didn't want that."  
  
"They then cut off any external body parts that couldn't be easily skinned. Such as the ears, nose, eyelids, fingers and toes. She was then skinned. By the time the killer was done, Chibi-Usa was already dead. The rest was mere mutilation of the dead body." Flame paused her to take in the looks on the suspects' faces. Few of those present weren't repulsed by what they were hearing. The only unaffected people there were Flame and Kaige.  
  
"They then punctured Chibi-Usa's eyes in her skull. Leaving them there to bleed out onto the muscle of her face, down into the cavity where her nose was previously. They then cut off her arms and legs. Using these as blunt instruments and beat her." By this time, suspects began to run out of the room for the nearest bath room. Some even ran outside to use the bushes. The only suspects left were Usagi, Luna, Artemis, Pluto, and an unconscious Mamoru.  
  
Usagi wasn't listening to the account of Chibi-Usa's torture and dismemberment. Finally pushed to far, Kaige stood and crossed the room to her. "You haven't heard one word, have you Usagi?" Usagi looked up, startled out of her reverie. "Huh?" Anything else she would say was cut off by the bat that hit her full across the her face. "Get an attention span dammit!" Usagi stopped moving after a few hits, but Kaige didn't stop until she was sure Usagi wouldn't be getting back up.  
  
Pluto watched this with a sickened look and she ran off, supposedly to return to her gate. This left two bodies and two cats. Flame continued with her report, as if nothing had happened. "Eventually Chibi-Usa was nothing more than a jumbled pile of hair, blood, and guts. Her body was then dumped on the park bench where a homeless man thought dinner had been served." Flame looked up at their remaining suspects, Luna and Artemis.   
  
Luna and Artemis, knowing they'd be singled out now, leaped individually at Flame and Kaige. Kaige used the bat and slammed Artemis out of the room and through a window. The glass shredded his body, and he was left little more than the same as Chibi-Usa. The homeless man, escaped from the police, bent over his body and went at it. "Lunch!"  
  
Before Luna could reach Flame, Sanji jumped in through the window and kicked Luna against the far wall. "I'm here Flame-san!" He glomped onto her happily. Luna managed to survive hitting the wall, turned to attack Kaige. Not realizing that someone stood menacingly over her. Kaige recognized the green-haired man easily. "It's you…" She paused, realizing she hadn't asked his name. The man cursed. "It's Zoro!" He unsheathed the three swords and turned Luna into what amounted to ground hamburger.  
  
Kaige grinned happily. "You're so cute!!!" She glomped onto him and refused to let go. Usagi revived and looked around with a confused look. "Where are Luna and Artemis?" Kaige pointed towards the floor and Flame pointed out the window. Usagi let out a screech and began to move towards what was left of Luna. Zoro unsheathed a sword and decapitated the girl before she could get very far.  
  
They left the homeless man eating the remains of any body he could find. It mattered not to them, for the case had been solved. The police could clean up the mess left behind, if there was any.  
  
A/N ::laughs evilly:: That was fun. But really, I have no ill will to any of the Sailor Moon characters, except Chibi-Usa. I hate her, MUCHO! I wish the Black Moon people would have caught her and killed her. It would have been my favorite episode. ^_^ Well, hope you enjoyed this file. Please review! ^_^ 


	5. Cat's in a Row

Not the author not: Yep, I didn't write this file! Hikaru-chan wrote this one. GIVE PRAISE TO HIKARU-CHAN!!

Author's Note: Much thanks to Umi-chan for letting me use her murder files series for a one-shot, the idea of which wouldn't leave my head, and with the muses incognito for the time being, I needed something else to concentrate on instead of my pending stories. I have no excuse for what's written below and don't feel I need one really, my personality shows very strongly in the story, enough said, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'Gravitation', and if I did, the manga would certainly not be as amusing as it is. Murakami Maki holds all rights to the work, and has my deep eternal appreciation. Oda Eiichiro, master genius that he is, owns 'One Piece', and I mean no disrespect by borrowing his characters. So…don't sue me. ;;

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"The Anime Murder Files" 

_Case Eight: Cats in a Row_

In a small office, a woman sat slouched over a desk, head resting against her crossed arms, and a blank look on her face, looking for intents and purposes bored to death, and dead she would be if the slight rising of her chest didn't signal otherwise. Abruptly, she raised a hand to brush aside a strand of her long brown hair, and then sighed, long and loud, almost making the exhalation of breath noticeable to all that milled outside her office door.

Sitting up, she hit a button on the phone resting nearby, and held the receiver against her ear, the expression on her face unchanging until a voice came out of the phone, almost ragged despite the lull their business was taking. Raising a brow, the woman listened for a few more minutes and then when half a name was muttered huskily, slammed the phone down, now slightly annoyed her partner had found better things to do with her time instead of her; Kaige had the devil's luck it seemed.

Desperate to find a cure to boredom, which seemed to have instilled itself into her very bones, Flame headed to the door, opening it a crack to peer out, cautious because she wasn't sure if there was indeed a task which would assist her in her quest, and because though there was no work for her to take care of, her boss, a rough middle-aged man named Jake Johnson, otherwise known as her boss, had plenty of paperwork he could always assign her if she dared complain about lack of business.

A very shapely ass presented itself, or rather, that was the first thing Flame's gaze gravitated to, and as she felt the behind up with her emerald eyes, the body turned, giving the somewhat lecherous detective yet another side to take appreciation of, before a shadow fell across her vision. Looking up guiltily, Flame was surprised to see that the man she had been checking out was the blonde-headed intern that has recently been assigned to their department, and despite the mental rape, he seemed quite cheerful.

"Ah, you are Flame-san, yes?" Nodding mutely, the detective opened the door fully and bowed; glad her mind had reminded her that the intern was part Japanese, and that she could put to practice something of his culture. A hand on her shoulder started her and as she came to her full height, he grinned widely at her, oddly balancing the cigarette dangling in his mouth perfectly, but indicated a position two inches higher than she had been bowing at.

"Oh, thank you," Flame said, not minding being corrected in her bowing techniques since she had no one to practice them on in the first place. Glancing over at her partner's office and noting two shadows moving in the darkness contained within, the detective eyed the intern then headed over to the break room, intent on getting herself a good dose of caffeine to survive on for the remainder of the day, or at least a few hours.

The blonde headed man followed in her wake, coming to take a seat just across her as she sat down with her coffee mug, hands enclosed around it tightly, for the department didn't have the best furnace in the world. After taking a long sip, Flame glanced at the intern, and then realized she had never caught his name, only rumors of how the man had charmed most of the ladies in the office within the first few days he had arrived. Quietly she spoke, unsure of how comfortable she was around him. " I don't believe we've been introduced before."

"It's San-"

A deep yell swallowed the rest of the intern's words, irritation evident in the voice even from her location. "Brendan!"

Nodding an apology to the man, Flame hurried to her boss' office, halfway praying it was a false call, and hoping someone had died so she could get back to the work she did best: solving murder mysteries. The gruff man took one look at Flame and then nodded his approval, turning to concentrate on the papers spread across his desk, though a tic pulsed in his temple, and before the female detective could ask, Jake spoke roughly. "At least one of you came, I've tried calling for Kaige and she hadn't heeded any of my summons yet, but as long as someone acknowledges the new case that came into today; then I can't complain."

"Here, this is a file containing all the information we have on the case so far, I expect you to collect your partner and be out filling in the holes within the hour, don't disappoint me," Jake said in a tone of voice that signaled the briefing was over, and somewhat irritated no kind words had been said throughout his spiel, Flame exited the office, scanning over the contents of the file offhandedly before she came to rest before Kaige's office door.

Coughing loudly, Flame pressed her ear against the door and heard shuffling, bumps, and basic body movement from within, until the wood she had been resting her head against suddenly gave way, and Kaige glowered unhappily at her, clothes rumpled but looking none worse for the wear, in fact, behind the glare she had put up, her partner looked…sated.

Before Flame could explain the reason why she had interrupted Kaige's activities, a green-haired man pushed past her, his shirt barely tucked in and cursing slightly. If she recalled correctly, the man's name was Zoro and he had been hired, as office help though what exactly he did, Flame was not sure she desired to know.

The detective spared a moment to admire the man's backside and then focused her attention back to her partner, grinning slightly when the glower on Kaige's face disappeared, and she appeared vastly amused. Flame had been working with the woman for a few years now and very much enjoyed having Kaige as her partner, if only for her personality and homicidal nature at times; dark brown hair hastily put up into ponytail teased the back of Kaige's neck, and as she brushed it aside, gray eyes narrowed expectantly.

"I can see you put your spare time into good use, but unfortunately, the lull that lasted approximately two days, seventeen hours, two minutes, and fifty-five seconds is now over because…"

Flame raised the file in her hands pointedly. "We have a case."

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"What do you mean, Tohma is dead?" Sakuma Ryuichi whined; hugging his ever-present plush Kumagoro close enough to almost smother it to death, had the plush been alive. Flame and Kaige exchanged a look, wondering just how many times they would need to explain the circumstances to the singer before he could fully comprehend it; the numbers of times had already passed four.

Sighing, Kaige asked the question they had come to inquire about before, while Flame muttered something about needing a drink, completely abandoning the quest to make Ryuichi grasp just what was currently happening. "Did you kill your keyboardist?"

There was a pause before Ryuichi responded, in which the singer grinned goofily, almost seeming to completely forget about the murder of his former Nittle Grasper member and proudly announced his answer. "No, and I'm really sad someone was able to get to him before I could, I mean, it's not that Tohma was a mean person or anything but sometimes I didn't like the way he looked at me before he touched me in really strange places too, like my chest and di-"

Both detectives stared openly, half in interest and astonishment as Ryuichi preceded to describe all of the numerous sexual encounters Tohma and himself had participated in, when the sun began to dip below the horizon and Flame commenced taking extensive notes, Kaige took it upon herself to lift her mind from the gutter (temporarily) and pulled her protesting partner away, who promised Ryuichi solemnly she'd be back as soon as was humanly possible.

As the two women started the trek down the apartment hallway, they failed to notice the change of expression on the usual carefree Ryuichi's face, as it turned from playful into an intensely serious scowl, he disappeared into the depths of his apartment not a moment later.

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Kaige looked around the large condo they were seated in with interest, and only Flame was aware her partner was memorizing everything her eyes touched, if the quick glance she had taken from her notes was correct, she didn't really see a need though unless Yuki Eiri had indeed murdered his brother-in-law, which Flame doubted as he would have been able to succeed in killing Tohma without any suspicion being cast upon himself.

Still, they had to question him; crime-solving 101 indicated one needed to interrogate all potential suspects, and the fact Eiri happened to be a very attractive suspect did not escape anyone's notice as he stepped out of the kitchen he had been preparing coffee in and into the living room.

Without comment, he handed each of the detectives a mug from which steam rose and took a seat upon the couch all were seated on a few feet away from the women, where he raised his cigarette to his mouth, inhaled deeply and then spoke, unaware of the additional attention the detectives paid to him as his deep voice entered the air.

"I feel sorry for my sister's loss, but why the hell would I have killed Tohma and then left evidence behind? That's more the brat's style than mine," Eiri commented without preamble, speaking Flame's exact thoughts out loud, a fit of paranoia came over her as she wondered if the man had read her mind, then she dismissed the thought as ludicrous as she was the only one with that ability.

Kaige glanced worriedly at the partner as she appeared to be thinking over something quite serious, if the intent look Flame was casting towards the novelist was any indication, regardless the interrogation had to continue and as distracted as she was by the presence of Eiri, she felt she could continue, for a few more minutes at least. "I am to assume the brat you're speaking of is Shindou Shuichi, lead singer of Bad Luck and your boyfriend?"

Something hardened within Eiri's gaze but he nodded, finishing off the cigarette he had been smoking before the women had arrived and lighting another within a moment, not bothering to ask permission to smoke, as it was his own damn apartment and if they had a problem with it, they could leave anytime. "One and the same, are you going to go talk this issue over with him as well?"

"He is on our lists of suspects so sooner or later, yes," Kaige said, unable to keep her hands steady as she lowered them on each side of her body and begun slowly inching closer to Eiri, eyeing the female detective for a moment, the novelist shrugged before leaning forward and crushing the cigarette he had been nursing in a ashtray lying on the table before him.

Flame seemed to snap out of her intense scrutiny of their very attractive suspect and as she watched Kaige snuggle up beside him, she too sprung into action and two long hours later; the pair of detectives exited the condo, sure without a doubt of two facts, one Eiri had not murdered Tohma, and two they could not say with verbal communication.

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The scene inside recording studio #4 of the main NG Records building was one of chaos; Shindou Shuichi had collapsed onto a large speaker and was staring mutely onto the floor below him while Fujisaki Jun worked hard at a new arrangement for a song since now that Tohma was dead, it was the perfect time for him to make a solo debut, having no more (worthy) competition.

Nakano Hiroshi was leaning quietly against the wall nearest to the door, thinking to himself of where Bad Luck was to go from here now that NG's president had been murdered and Sakano, the man who had worked so hard under Tohma for many years was unconscious on the floor, having passed out when he had first heard the news and had continued doing so every time he had awakened since.

Kaige and Flame had entered this scene chattering giddily about their last visit when the general gloomy atmosphere hit them and they fell silent, glancing at each other in irritation these people had taken it upon themselves to decrease the enjoyment value of their day, within a few moments though, they had spilt the group between themselves and begun questioning, one interrogation over before it had even started as Sakano had yet to gain consciousness.

Flame eyed Shuichi closely, he genuinely appeared to be grieving the loss of Tohma but some murderers had a startling aptitude for acting so the detective pulled out her notes, got sidetracked by them as she'd yet to turn the pages that contained details of Ryuichi's earlier confession, and finally set about the business of her job.

"Where were you on the night in question?"

Shuichi hadn't expected he'd be a suspect in the murder, and nervousness made itself apparent as he replied unevenly, while one of his hands worked the end of the shirt he was wearing, twisting it repeatedly.

"A-At home with Yuki, well, we were more in b-bed than home, I guess and there's nothing wrong with that since I love Yuki more than anything in the world, and no one can take him away from me, no one!" He gushed, the last of his words sounding suspiciously fanatical, narrowing her brow, Flame continued her line of questioning without comment.

Meanwhile, Kaige questioned Fujisaki and Hiro, who appeared to have been elsewhere the night Tohma had been murdered, the details of which were being kept quiet until a legitimate murder suspect had been found, and disappointed she couldn't abandon the task her boss had assigned her to return back to the office and discuss a certain matter further with Zoro, Kaige went onto her next question, mentally checking off a list in her mind.

"Do you know if Tohma made any enemies recently?" At the quick glance Hiro and Fujisaki exchanged; Kaige wondered if they might have a break in this case yet, prompting the pair to explain, Hiro chose to answer first, which seemed to aggravate Fujisaki for some reason.

"He had just been closing a business deal, and seemed to have a lot of trouble agreeing to the terms of the contract, I'm not sure who exactly he was dealing with but considering Tohma and his circle of friends, I'd put that person at the top of the list," Hiro finished, nodding once to Kaige as she made a small note on the notepad in her hand, which was in actuality a doodle since Kaige sure as shit wasn't investigating Tohma's business dealings, murder investigation or not.

Just as both Kaige and Flame were finishing up, a light moan from the floor caught their attention, and just as Sakano looked to be thinking upon what had made him faint in the first place, Kaige leapt forward and pressed a blade against his bared throat, the producer instantly froze and when the front of his pants turned dark, nearly all in the room turned away in disgust.

Kaige remained as she was though, grinning at Sakano gleefully, hoping he would either try to get away so she could find an excuse to hurt him or give her permission to end his rather pitiful life, disappointingly, he did neither, merely laid still and prayed to whatever gods he felt would heed his pleas.

"Did you kill your boss?" There was no response other than a slight shaking of Sakano's head, but even that movement gave the timid producer a small cut on the far left side of his throat, sighing Kaige withdrew her weapon, and returned the blade to it's sheath attached to her belt.

Sakano breathed a sigh of relief before standing only to realize the full meaning behind Kaige's question and his eyes going wide, Sakano looked about the recording studio and dived out the nearest open window, his body coming to meet the pavement five stories below with a wet splat, painting the black pavement red with more than just blood.

There was a moment of silence before those present in the room Sakano had vacated seconds ago shrugged and went back to the daily grind, murders were one thing, suicides were an open and close case, which was why Kaige and Flame avoided the oncoming police cars by ducking out of a broken fire exit door, to avoid yet more work in their already overloaded careers.

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Kaige eyed her partner's notes warily, and then looked to the person who had filled the notebook with snippets of writing all having to do with two guys in a variety of circumstances and locations finding their interest drawn to each other for no reason at all, sighing lightly, she handed Flame's notes back and then drew out her own notepad, which only had a few sentences written on it, all the names of their suspects, Kaige had been too bored to actually take her job seriously while interrogating those at NG.

She did think the doodle of the stick figure lying in the middle of a street underneath Sakano's name was especially amusing though, and as Kaige showed Flame, she laughed and then went back to picking ice cubes out of the glass of pop in front of her, Flame knew the waitress had put the ice cubes in just to spite her, since she had expressively asked for a diet Coke without ice.

The pair had thought stopping to eat lunch and discuss the case had been a good idea but really, they had just been looking for an opportunity to laze about for an hour or two, as when the food arrived, both women went silent, eating what lay on their plates contentedly and as slowly as possible.

Then Kaige glanced up in surprise when Flame asked a question pertaining to their job, in the years they had worked together, they did their jobs much like a snail moved, except when the murder victims had been killed in a new and interesting way, in which case the pair of detectives worked hard to find the killer so they could congratulate him on his kill, and ask how he came up with some details, never mind arresting him.

"So who do you think did it?"

Picking up a French fry and chewing on its salty end, Kaige gave the matter some serious thought, based on what Flame had told her in the car, only Shuichi had displayed signs of psychotic tendencies but only in regards to his boyfriend Eiri, whether or not he would kill on a whim had yet to be discovered. "Hiro eluded that a business partner may have dealt with Tohma in a rather unsavory way but he may just be throwing out bait for us to follow."

"Indeed. Well, if the rest of our suspects are meeting at Mika's at three, we'll probably have our answer then, if not, then we'll have to do some serious leg work to uncover the killer," Flame responded, draining the last of her pop then burping loudly, ignoring the looks she received for doing so, she couldn't have cared less what the ignorant masses thought of her behavior.

Kaige scoffed, her brow narrowing as she thought of what her boss would say if he had heard most of their conversation, most likely something along the lines of 'legwork, that's the spirit and be damn quick about it!' then she grinned at her friend and partner. "The hell I'm doing 'legwork' as you put it, this is the extent of my abilities, if the boss wants us to investigate further after this afternoon's meeting then I've got a certain object that would love to meet the lower part of his anatomy."

Flame laughed uproariously then grinned at her partner mischievously, this was the exact reason she loved having Kaige as her partner, she was well aware of when work actually had to be done, and when one could fool about without consequences, she was also damn lazy and did not hide it with excuses or other such pretty words, Flame appreciated truth more than she cared to admit. "Better be careful, he might just end up liking it."

"Aw, dammit, why did you have to get that mental image stuck in my head?!" Laughing once again, Flame paid the bill leaving only a piece of paper with 'I.O.U death' for the spiteful waitress' tip, unfortunately, she wasn't able to wait around to witness the waitress' reaction but then the one she'd formulated in her head was amusement enough.

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The meeting at Seguchi Mika's apartment was becoming progressively more uncomfortable the longer everyone gathered had to wait for the detectives to arrive, everyone expressed or revealed his or her nervousness differently; K (otherwise known as Claude Winchester) had taken to using Mika's ceramic cat figurine collection positioned in a line on a shelf just above the fireplace as targets, and was hitting each ceramic cat directly in the center of their forehead, pieces of ceramic tumbling to the floor below as K continued his killing spree.

Seguchi Mika sat quietly in the kitchen, her face downcast as she regretted letting Tohma leave the apartment that fateful night, she'd felt it in her gut that something would go wrong but she never thought murder would be something to take account of in her worries, over her shoulder, leaning against the kitchen door frame stood Eiri, supporting his sister in the only way he knew how, by simply being present, even though he had been discounted as a suspect for Tohma's murder.

Shuichi had taken over the television and VCR, going through some of the rare limited videos of Nittle Grasper Mika had indirectly collected over the years of her marriage to Tohma, the singer sat very close to television, at times when he was positive no one was looking in his direction, licking the screen when Ryuichi looked especially yummy.

The quiet girl known as Usami Ayaka, whom had once been engaged to Uesugi Eiri but was now dating Bad Luck's guitarist, was sitting quietly in her seat on the couch, one of her fingers within her enclosed hands, rising up and down, patting her left thumb with an increasing pressure but to those watching, she seemed to have an unlimited supply of pertinence to draw upon.

Ukai Nuriko was chatting quietly with Uesugi Tatsuha in the corner of the living room, noting with increasing alarm that despite the fact Nuriko had stated she was happily married and had a daughter, Tatsuha showed no sign of backing off, he was intent on bedding the woman or receiving a near fatal beating, the monk didn't seem to care which.

The only person who seemed out of place in the setting, paced the small space between the kitchen and couch, Aizawa Taki too deep in his anxiety to notice that he slowly uprooting the fine Turkish rug from it's place on the floor; the ASK singer had not the faintest idea why he was here, even if he had wanted to decapitate Tohma, it didn't mean he'd acted on the impulse, not that he didn't have good reason to, as Taki could still recall the night Tohma had knocked him directly in the path of an oncoming car.

Shivering slightly as he made himself draw away from the memory, Taki started when the door to Mika's apartment almost exploded inward, and before anyone could comment, Ryuichi flung open the door and glomped the closest person near him, which happened to be K's revolver, two things happened at once, K lowered his gun and Ryuichi jumped onto the blond man's face.

K hit the floor with a hard thud, and his finger pressed the trigger unwittingly, the bullet bounced off a small metal statue and hit Taki in the side of the leg, the singer promptly howled in pain and limped over to the couch with the assistance of Noriko, who had taken the first vice of escape from Tatsuha that she could.

Mika had burst out of the kitchen in alarm but upon surveying the scene, she smiled lightly before proceeding to the bathroom to get a first aid kit for Taki, who continued to make pain filled sounds until Shuichi had made a complaint and turned back to watch the precious Nittle Grasper videos, not realizing his object of admiration was in the very same room as he.

Ryuichi grinned widely at K, who merely stood up and went back to his mock target practice, there were still five ceramic cats left and K was damned if he was going to allow them to make a fool of him. Tatsuha's eyes nearly budged out when he saw Ryuichi and slinking over to the Nittle Grasper singer, he calmed himself outwardly (inwardly he was doing cartwheels of joy) and introduced himself to his idol, who got bored approximately one minute after the monk began speaking to him.

Just as Ryuichi was leading Eiri's brother away into one of the bedrooms so Tatsuha would stop talking and do something interesting, the doorbell rang though there was no need for anyone to ring it as the front door was still wide open. Kaige and Flame entered after a somewhat uncertain 'come in' from Mika who was bent over the couch, treating Taki's wound.

Flame paused briefly, sniffed lightly then stared intently at the injured ASK singer, or rather his still bleeding wound, Taki understandably freaked out, almost hiding completely behind Mika's back as she had straightened to eye Flame warily, then abruptly Kaige elbowed her partner and Flame passed the pair by, smirking to herself.

"Thank you all for taking the time to come out and meet with us, we apologize for our tardiness but we had our reasons, mostly bullshit reasons but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, we've all gathered for one reason and that is to seek out Tohma's killer, but before that, I'd like to ask for a volunteer," Kaige announced dramatically, an unsettling smile on her face that bordered on glee.

Ayaka stood up from the couch almost immediately, and walked over to Kaige who looked her over and the nodded approvingly before pulling an extremely long katana from out of nowhere and without preamble, shoved it up Ayaka's hutch, putting a bit more pressure on the blade as it sliced clean through the girl's back and hit the floor solidly. Ayaka's body dropped to the floor, gushing blood and other such things but it was clear Kaige was not done yet, indeed she cut off the body's head, arms and legs and then shoved the appendages into a plastic bag before tying it off tightly.

Next, she also pulled out a spoon from wherever she had gotten the katana and after collecting Ayaka's eyeballs from their sockets, dumped them into a mason jar Flame had caringly filled with fluids that would preserve the eyes in all their glory. It was then, nearly covered in blood, that Kaige grinned at her petrified audience after receiving congratulations on a kill well done by her partner, Flame.

"That, my suspects, was the exact way Seguchi Tohma died except he got the katana up the tailpipe instead; it was obviously perpetrated by someone who had an incredible amount of hatred for Tohma, which means it could only be…" Kaige's extended finger moved from each tense person to the next before settling firmly on Shuichi's stunned form, while Flame pointed firmly at Taki, both detectives turned to stare at each other when they realized their mistake then they fixed it within seconds.

"They were in league with each other the whole time, Shuichi and Taki both harbored a deep resentment for Tohma and his position in the company as he abused it regularly; each had their own reasons, Taki because Tohma had repeatedly threatened and even attempted once, to kill him and Shuichi because Tohma had tried to take Eiri for his own only so short a time ago."

"Stupid brat," Eiri commented quietly from his place on the living room wall, Shuichi's eyes filled with tears before he hurled himself at his boyfriend and pleaded ignorance of the entire plot, Taki merely stared at the pair of detectives before trying to get up from the couch and flee, as he felt his time on this earth was limited.

"Actually, you're both wrong in your deduction," Ryuichi announced coolly, his grip on Tatsuha's belt dropping completely as he walked towards Flame and Kaige, his expression deadly serious and eyes nearly burning with emotion. "The real killer is the person who was married to him, Mika."

"Ha!" Shuichi yelled in the silence that followed Ryuichi's revelation.

Mika jerked as everyone turned to face her accusingly and then she narrowed her brow in determination as a slow smile curled her lips, and Mika laughed, her hand rising to cover her mouth as she did so. "It's as he says, I did kill Tohma; the bastard wouldn't allow me to pursue a music career, he said repeatedly, as if mocking me, that my singing sounded like the wail of a dying dog."

The woman paused to sing, and as everyone covered their ears, the same thought flitted in each mind 'Tohma was right.' Mika's eyes had taken on a glassy shine when she finished singing and as she started to speak again, her hands curled tightly into fists; so intense was her rage. "I knew he was just jealous of my talent and so I begun plans to make him pay for not allowing the world to know of my wonderful voice, within a week, everything was set, I would be home the day the murder would take place, and wouldn't be suspected of a thing.

"But I chose the wrong assassin, they got carried away by bloodlust and insanity and now all my plans are ruined, no thanks to you, Flame!" Said detective grinned before taking a deep bow, she had known Mika would screw some elements of her plan up, she had too much emotional investment in the affair, but unfortunately, Mika had also ratted Flame out and that crime carried the penalty of death.

Kaige saluted her partner knowingly; the plan they'd concocted had gone rather well, Ryuichi's sudden involvement in the unmasking of the killer not withstanding, and now once Mika had been 'taken care' of, her and Flame would be able to back to the office once everyone had been briefed on the official version of the night's events, as there were too many bishies among the former suspects to simply slaughter everyone present.

Ryuichi crossed his arms and smiled, still acting quite unlike his usual adorable and goofy self, his own investigation into Tohma's murder had obviously surpassed Kaige and Flame's own and as such, Ryuichi allowed himself a mental pat on the back before turning back towards Tatsuha, an evil grin in place as he dragged the man into the bedroom and took advantage of time he had before his other personality woke up again.

The two women exchanged a look when Ryuichi and Tatsuha disappeared into the bedroom, and after a moment, Kaige made a dismissal motion with her hands and Flame jumped up and down excitedly, glomping her partner tightly before going to sit by the bedroom door, opening it a crack and taking out the notes from Ryuichi earlier to compare the activity that went on within the room.

Kaige looked around the room, decided she sure as hell wasn't cleaning up the mess Ayaka's body had become and before anyone could figure out what she was attempting, the detective had pulled over a strangely sharpened stick covered with barb wire and bashed Mika in the face, legs, arms, anywhere that looked particularly vulnerable, within thirty minutes, Mika's body was in even worse condition than Ayaka's and Kaige surveyed her work with near fanatical cheerfulness.

Eiri, comforting Shuichi, who had hid his face against the novelist's chest, when it become apparent what was going to happen, held up a small white card bearing a score of 10, and then returned to the task of looking pouty and broody simultaneously as he dealt with the man hugging him so tightly.

Nuriko had felt no affection for Mika so she had merely watched while Kaige had beaten the woman to death (and pieces), and then clapped with a bit of enthusiasm, Taki was unconscious by the front door, the pain from his wounded leg had become too much for him to handle when he had attempted to flee from the apartment.

K had had his back turned from the events that had occurred into the living room, intent on killing the last ceramic cat, which he believed had taken to laughing at him, when the ceramic forehead exploded and pieces of it shattered against the floor, K laughed loudly and left abruptly as he felt he'd participated enough in the gathering, in his own unique way.

Kaige looked after him for a moment but as he hadn't seen anything worth mentioning other than Mika's former collection of ceramic cats, she didn't feel a need to chase after him, the others however were a different story. Two hours later, Kaige exited the apartment; quite confident that there would be no slip-ups in the carefully crafted story everyone had come up with to explain the two bodies and numerous broken ceramic cats, in fact despite the evening's happenings, everyone had been in great spirits.

Flame walked beside Kaige, a silly grin spread across her face and a wistful look in her eyes, as she was undoubtedly fondly recalling what she had seen in the bedroom Tatsuha and Ryuichi had occupied, later when the afterglow had worn off, Kaige would make her partner recite in great detail what had occurred, but this was common knowledge so Kaige gave it no more thought.

The case had been solved; there wasn't not a pile (well, not a very big pile) of dead bodies, only one person had been threatened, but she was a waitress so that didn't count as she hadn't been a suspect, and Kaige and Flame had been able to go out into the world to investigate a murder with little to no consequences (that their boss knew of), they felt they deserved a raise.


	6. Uh, who the hell's dead?

A/N Okay… the characters I'm going to use are the Americanized names… as they're what I'm used to and I can't get my mind around the Japanese ones. I know I changed them for the Sailor Moon thing… but that was bothering me at the time. So if you don't like it, look them up and change them in your head.

The Anime Murder Files

Case No. 9- Uh, who the hell's dead?

Investigating Detective- Kaige

The Victim- Nothing is known at this time.

The Suspects- If we don't know who the victims is, how likely is it that we would know who the suspect are?

What the bloody hell!?!

Kaige stared blankly at the single sheet of paper waiting on her desk. It seemed fairly ominous laying on the vast emptiness of her desk. She inched forward, almost afraid that it may be a trap. It couldn't be work… cases usually came in large folders filled with bloody pictures and such.

"What are you doing?" Kaige jumped at the voice and fell back against the wall. Zoro stood in the doorway of the office giving her an odd expression. "Nothing, nothing at all. You wouldn't happen to know what that piece of paper is doing there, do you?" Zoro raised an eyebrow and crossed over to the desk. "It's a case."

Kaige jumped forward and snatched up the precious piece of paper. "Work! Hooray!" Her excitement seemed to die down as she read the few words on the paper.

Her boss, Jake Johnson, had been waiting ever so patiently outside the door for her to read the paper. He peeked quietly around the door jam into the menacing silence. As he had expected, Kaige was waiting for him. The katana was within an inch of his jugular. "What's the meaning of this, boss man?"

"It's all on the paper Kaige, there's nothing else I can tell you." Her gray eyes narrowed to slits. "There's only an address, no details whatsoever, why?"

Jake turned hopeful eyes to the newest office help. "Really, I've got no idea!" The katana moved away a bit before finally lowering to the ground. "Alright, I'll believe you this time, just don't let it happen again." Jake began backing away quickly, hoping she wouldn't ask the next question before he was back in his office. "Where's Flame?"

Jake stumbled in his haste to make it through his office door. "She's on vacation. I've got to go now, good luck on your case."

Kaige stared after the man, a lost look on her face. "Flame-chan?" She turned confused eyes to Zoro. "Where'd she go?" Zoro smiled, not realizing the potential danger. "I believe her and Sanji have gone off somewhere." Kaige's hand tightened on the katana's handle.

"So be it, death will come raining down on their heads, for my sensor is gone." Kaige's eyes seemed to be glowing red as she met Zoro's gaze head on. Zoro's eyes widened as Kaige left the office, casually killing the mailman on the way out.

20 minutes and 5 deaths later…

Kaige stared blankly from the paper in her hand to the warehouse in front of her. The paper was still legible despite all the blood it had soaked up. This was definitely the place. "Hello, anyone there? I'm here to investigate some murder."

A young boy's head popped up from behind the door. "The body is in here." Kaige stared after the dark haired boy, trying as best as she could not to kill him right away. He could be useful.

Upon entering the room, she took stock of who was there, keeping in mind victims for later. Two bodies lay on the floor, both wearing black from head to toe. The boy stood besides a young lady, but he seemed to take in as much of the scene as she.

"Hi, I'm Richard Moore, this is my daughter Rachael and the boy's Conan." The man had been standing to one side of the bodies, but now he was offering her a hand. Kaige stared down at the hand until it moved away. It would have been all too easy to chop that hand off. "I haven't been filled in on what's happening here, do so now."

Richard's tale was filled with self-praise and little fact. Kaige sighed and barely controlled her blood lust long enough to find someone else to tell her what was going on. One of the detectives stepped forward to take over the narration.

Young Conan, about an hour ago, found the two men in black. The two men had been slowly tortured to death. Someone had wanted something from them and most likely had gotten it.

Kaige turned her glowing red gaze on the young boy with disappointing results. He didn't flinch once. Staring down at him, she recognized the cold-blooded killer in the boy. It was odd to see in a child so young, something wasn't quite right here.

"It obviously took someone of great strength to kill them." Conan spoke up and gained glares from the cops and Richard. Kaige turned her backs on them and gave her full attention to the boy. "Yes, they would, wouldn't they?"

Her grip tightened on the hilt of her katana until blood trickled down it. The boy was going to be a tricky one. It was best that he didn't know she'd figured him out. Kaige turned to the group of cops awaiting her decision on the bodies.

"Take them away, I seriously doubt anything will be found on the bodies. The person who did this is obviously an expert." Kaige refused to look at Conan when she said this, tipping off the boy now would be her downfall.

With a last glance around the warehouse, Kaige turned to leave. "Aren't you going to look for clues Detective?" Kaige looked over her shoulder at Conan. "Oh, I will… I will."

An hour later…

A dart hit the wall within a foot of Zoro's head. He gave it a brief look before turning back to Kaige. "Case going well?" Kaige glared slightly and shook her head. "He's a tricky little bastard, Zoro. It's as if he isn't really a child, he's way to smart for that."

Kaige's eyes widened. "That's it! He's not a child!" Zoro's gave her a confused look. "So what is he then?" Kaige smiled at Zoro as she stood. "Don't worry about it Zoro-kun… it will all make sense once the investigation is over."

Zoro watched Kaige warily as she closed the door and locked it. "What should I worry about then?" Kaige's grin widened evilly. "Nothing…"

The next day…

Kaige left a very exhausted Zoro sleeping on her office floor. This would be the day Conan would go down. The stage just needed to be set. On the way out a hesitant package deliveryman got pushed over the stair railing and fell two stories. As Kaige stepped onto the bottom landing she the man twitch.

"Don't know when to die, do you?" Kaige picked up the fallen package and bashed him repeatedly with it. Kaige stared at the blood-splattered package for a moment, it was for her and oddly enough it was ticking. The return address was one Jimmy Kudo.

He'd just given her the final piece of the puzzle. How incredibly arrogant of him. Kaige left the body and the package to blow up together.

Later that night…

Kaige sat waiting in the warehouse. She'd left a message for Kudo to meet her here. He'd be sure to come and try one final time to shut her up.

Heavy footsteps came from the one entrance to the warehouse. "I'm here Ms. Detective, now why don't you come out for me?" Conan was no longer the young boy he was the previous day, he was now a fully-grown teenager.

Kaige laughed slightly as she hit the lights. "You know Kudo… your plan was quite ingenious really. He would expect a young boy of murder? Except you're anything but a boy."

Jimmy watched her walk towards him. "They were the ones who turned you into a boy. You've spent all this time searching for them and you finally got what you wanted. There deaths were just a little added fun."

Jimmy nodded, but said no more. "I really don't know what you're talking about." His eyes took on a psychotic gleam. "Say what you like Jimmy, I'm not recording this."

Jimmy smiled and reached into his coat, pulling out a long piece of rope. "Good, not that it'd do you any good either way. This will be your last case, too bad it's going to go unsolved."

Kaige smiled and shook her head. "That's where you're wrong." At that moment, two things happened. Kaige's eyes turned from red to her normal gray and a spear ripped through Jimmy's stomach. He turned disbelieving eyes to his killer and died.

Flame smiled at Kaige. "I see I made it just in time, how many people have you killed since I've been gone?" Kaige grinned back at Flame and flung an arm around her shoulders. "Oh, not as many as you'd think… about 30."

Jimmy's body was left on the warehouse floor, to be forgotten or another case for them on another day. Either way, this case was solved.

A/N I own nothing from Detective Conan… sue me if you will, but I don't have much of value. So :P!


	7. The Zodiac Murders

The Anime Murder Files

Special Number 01

Case No. 10- The Zodiac Murders

Investigating Detectives: Kaige and Flame with aide from Zoro and Sanji

The Victim: A passerby found Hatsuharu Sohma severely beaten outside the main Sohma residence early in the morning. Details of what happened are sketchy at best because the main family has refused thus far to comment on the murder.

The Suspects:

Tohru Honda- The young woman has made a place for herself in the household of a strange family. Her reasons for being there appear to be innocent, as does she. Yet, there's something about her that just doesn't sit right. It could be those creepy eyes.

Akito Sohma- The head of the household seems to have a violent streak a mile long. It would make sense that he'd murder someone in cold blood. It would also explain why the family is oddly silent on what's happening.

Ayame Sohma- Ayame's alibi for the night in question is full of holes. It could be that he was just doing something of a private nature, or it could be the murder. We're ruling nothing out.

Hatori Sohma- There seems to be something haunting this man. It could be nearly anything so why not the murder of Hatsuharu?

Hiro Sohma- The boy is rather young to have been the murderer. But most things are possible with a blunt object in hand. You don't need a whole lot of strength to subdue someone when you've got a handy bat.

Isuzu Sohma (AKA Rin)- She used to date Hatsuharu before switching interests to Shigure. It's possible that Hatsuharu hadn't liked this and tried to confront her. Confrontations can go very wrong.

Kagura Sohma- Upon first glance you'd think nothing sinister of the girl. But if you watch her long enough, you begin to notice things, like her tendency towards violence. If that were how she shows affection, I'd hate to see her vengeance.

Kisa Sohma- The girl is adorable. Just look at her face!! You just want to hug and squeeze her. Murder is an unlikely course for her, but none of the family is being ruled out.

Kureno Sohma- At first, it's hard to notice this man and he didn't come apparent until you were anywhere near Akito. But the man seems to be close to him no matter what. So if Akito didn't want to do his dirty work, why not ask your shadow?

Kyo Sohma- He's another family member with a violent streak. While his attentions seem to be more for fighting Yuki, Hatsuharu liked to challenge him. Maybe Kyo went a little too far during one of their fights.

Momiji Sohma- He's another person who seems to be an unlikely killer. Yet there's something in the boy that he hides from the world. It may just be an intense sadness or it could likely be something else.

Ritsu Sohma- He's awfully nervous about something. Despite multiple claims of innocence, there's something seriously wrong with this suspect.

Shigure Sohma- Excuse me while I pick my tongue off the ground. All right, while being a major hottie, it's possible he's a killer. Though I doubt he'll be closely looked at as a suspect.

Yuki Sohma- Yuki is another person who I find hard to believe as a murderer. Though, anything's possible in that large of a family. Grudges can so easily be hidden behind cool expressions.

Arisa Uotani & Hanajima Saki- Both of the girls are close personal friends of Tohru. It's possible that they'd do anything for the girl and things can be misconstrued so easily. A helpful warning can turn sour very quickly.

The Setting: The main house of the Sohma family.

Another day, another murder and so on and so on…

Kaige eyed the estate with an all-seeing stare. Something was incredibly odd with this family. While it was it a large and varied family, a small group of them actually lived or visited this area of the house. It seemed as if they were lucky to have even gotten this far.

"Kaige, come on, Akito's waiting to speak with us." Flame was further up on the path waiting impatiently for her to catch up to the rest of our group. Kaige hurried along the path, eager to get to the bottom of this case. Killing someone so young, not to mention as hot as Hatsuharu, was a serious crime in her book. Whereas normally she would have taken her sweet time getting her questions answered.

Their guide was Shigure Sohma, who seemed more interesting in flirting with them then leading them to Akito. Both Kaige and Flame would have been happy to take him up on his numerous offers had Zoro and Sanji not been there. The two men were working to become detectives and were with them to get experience in the field.

Zoro grumbled impatiently but didn't bother to stop the man's advances. The last time he'd done that, Kaige hadn't been very happy with him. He didn't want Kaige unhappy with him ever again.

"As much as I'd like to take you up on your offer Shigure-kun, we're here to solve Haru's murder. Maybe another time." Flame broke into Shigure's smooth, practiced flirting.

Shigure sighed loudly. "All right ladies, I guess this will have to wait." Seemingly all business now, Shigure pulled ahead of the group and led them to a dark empty room. It would have been creepier had they not seen worse things then a little darkness.

Shigure opened one of the doors to let in a stream of sunshine, illuminating the room and the man who lay on the floor. They'd been told Akito was ill, but he seemed more angry than ill.

"I understand you're just trying to do your jobs, but we had nothing to do with Haru's death. I suggest you look elsewhere if you want to find his murderer." Kaige's eyes narrowed at the man. He seemed to be barely containing his violence; Kaige knew how that was.

She drew closer until Akito's attention was fully on her. "If you understand, you'll stop fighting us and answer our questions." Kaige stopped with her face nearly touching his, letting her own violent streak show through her eyes.

They stayed like that for a few minutes before Akito shook his head. "I'm afraid that won't be possible." It was obvious that Akito was hiding something now. Kaige drew away and went to stand next to Shigure. "Well then perhaps you won't mind if we question the rest of your family?"

Without thinking much about it, Kaige drew Shigure into a casual hug. Yet, she wasn't hugging Shigure. In his place was a black dog. Kaige turned shocked eyes to Flame. "Am I seeing things?"

Flame shook her head and came across the room to look at what Shigure had become. "So, this is what you've all been hiding." Akito hands were clenched by his side, it was likely that'd he strike out at any second.

"Yes, that was it, I'll let you keep your memory of this if you promise not to tell anyone else our secret." Flame wandered quietly how they'd take their memories of the event while nodding her agreement.

"Now that we've got all that settled, why don't you tell us where you were when Haru was killed?" Kaige asked the question while latched onto Shigure. Akito shrugged the question off. "Here, I didn't see Haru that day, he was supposed to have been at Shigure's visiting."

Kaige turned curious eyes to the dog in her arms. "Was he there?" The dog nodded, an odd thing to see. "He was there until after dinner, that's when he went home." Sanji spoke up, trying to be helpful. "So he was killed as he returned home."

Akito nodded. "Yes, that's what we figured. That's all we know, so leave our family alone and find out who did this." Akito seemed certain that they'd follow his instructions and leave, but his bubble was about to be burst.

"I'm sorry, but we'll go about this investigation as we see fit." Kaige said this with a dangerous edge to her voice. Those who knew her backed away quickly. Shigure seemed to notice what the others did and followed their lead.

It happened rather quickly. Akito was suddenly up and lunging at her. The knife was out of her pocket and into him before he had time to claw at her. He stared up at her, eyes going dim with death. "I'd tell you not to try that again, but I'm afraid there won't be a next time." Kaige pushed his limp body to the floor and turned to Shigure.

"We're going to go take a look around, see if we can find some sort of evidence or witnesses. We'll be back tomorrow to question the rest of your family." They left Shigure with Akito's body and departed. Flame swung an arm around Kaige's shoulder. "How about we make the rookies look for the evidence while we laze about."

Kaige grinned and looked back at Zoro and Sanji. "An excellent idea, Flame-chan, go get to work guys!" Sanji immediately rushed off to do their bidding, while Zoro followed slowly.

Later that night…

Shigure exited the Sohma house was a feeling of trepidation. It was almost as if someone was out there. He lifted his head to the wind and sniffed slightly. His sense of smell may be better while he was a dog, but his own was still good enough.

His suspicions were confirmed; someone was definitely out there. He turned around there they were. "You scared me, what are you doing out so late?" Shigure grinned at the person and never noticed the gun they held. The shots reported loudly into the night sky, breaking the peaceful quiet.

About an hour later…

Zoro and Sanji were the first on the scene. As they weren't allowed to come back into they had found something to report. Another body seemed like something of importance. Zoro had been left to baby sit the body while Sanji fetched Flame and Kaige.

The two stared sadly down at the Shigure's body. "This is too much of a coincidence, the two murders have to be connected." Sanji interrupted their mourning to say. He gained double murderous glares that shut him up.

Flame and Kaige moved away from the body to discuss the case. "We need to start questioning the family now. It's fairly obvious that whoever's doing this has a vendetta to carry out and won't stop with just Haru and Shigure."

Kaige nodded in agreement. "We may need to protect the rest of the family. But we may end up protecting the murder." Kaige turned towards the main house. "I'm going to make some calls, see if I can get the rest of the family to go into hiding or something."

She found Hatori waiting inside with a few of the other family members. She easily recognized Kisa, Hiro, Ayame, Ritsu, and Kureno among them. "We haven't been able to get a hold of Kagura and Rin, nor has anyone answered at Shigure's place."

Kaige sighed impatiently. "I'll leave Zoro here to protect you, Sanji can go check on Kagura and Rin. Flame and I will go over to Shigure's place." Hatori seemed to be pleased about her concern so she left it at that.

At Kagura's home…

It had taken Sanji a bit of time to get there and he'd gotten lost a number of times. The sight of the home was welcoming until he saw the open front door. He hurried inside to find that he was too late. Rin, Kagura, and Kagura's mother had already been killed. He leaned over and checked for a pulse all the same. The bodies were warm, but there was no life in them.

They hadn't been dead long, so they must have been killed right after Shigure. The killer could be anywhere now. On they're way back to the main house, or possibly on their way to Shigure's house. Most likely already at Shigure's home…

At Shigure's home…

Flame and Kaige had arrived to find Kyo, Yuki, and Tohru all asleep. They hadn't heard the phone ring, as it wasn't plugged in. Shigure had unplugged it to avoid the calls of his publicist. It was a relief to see them all alive.

"So, perhaps we were wrong." Kaige said as they waited outside for the trio to pack their things. "Maybe the person only wanted to kill Shigure and Hatsuharu. It may have nothing to do with the other family members."

"That's where you're wrong, Ms. Detective." A voice spoke up from the shadows. "It has everything to do with that family and it's members." Arisa Uotani stepped forward into the light from the house. In her right hand, she held a gun and in her left she held a knife.

"Aren't having a knife and a gun a bit redundant?" Kaige asked, ignoring the fact that the gun was pointed in their direction. The hand that held the gun shook slightly in anger. "Maybe, but I've got a lot of people to kill tonight, it's easier having two weapons."

Flame glared at the girl. "What makes you think we're just going to let you go around killing people?" Uotani's eyes were beginning to look a little wild. "You can't stop me if you're dead, now can you?"

Tohru, Yuki, and Kyo chose that moment to come outside. Uotani turned towards them, taking her eyes from Flame and Kaige. They took that chance to lunge at the girl. By mutual consent, Flame took the gun and Kaige took the knife. Her finger clenched on the trigger as it was knocked from her hand, sending a shot off into the night.

Kaige had no such luck with the knife. Uotani had a good hold on it, and managed to knock Kaige off balance. She stabbed Kaige and pushed her into Flame. Kaige took them both to the ground, her hands grabbing out for something to keep her balance.

Uotani turned to her original victims. She smiled at Tohru. "You don't have to worry, I don't want to kill you Tohru. Just them. I won't allow them to take me away from you anymore." Ignoring Tohru's shocked face, she dived at the nearest Sohma.

She missed stabbing Yuki in her haste. It ended up being more of an awkward hug then anything. Except he wasn't there anymore, in his place was a rat. Uotani stared down at the rat in confusion. "What's going on?"

The only answer Uotani got was a sound like that of a car backfiring. Her confusion switched from the rat to the gory, bleeding exit wound in her chest. She turned back to see Flame holding her lost gun. "You fucking stabbed her! You fucking bitch!"

Flame squeezed off another couple of rounds as Uotani fell to the ground dead. It wouldn't help the fact that Kaige was bleeding from a wound in her side, but it made her feel a little bit better. She dropped the gun and turned back to her partner.

Kaige held her hands tight against the wound, trying to stop the blood. "Flame-chan… could you do me a favor?" Flame leaned down and waited for the request. "Could you kick her for me?" Kaige passed out as Sanji came running up the path.

Sanji took in the scene and quickly went to get Hatori. Flame barely took in the shocked looks of Tohru, Kyo, and a naked Yuki as she violently kicked Uotani's dead body. When she was finally satisfied she went back to Kaige and held her own hands over the wound until Hatori arrived on the scene with Sanji and a very worried Zoro.

A few weeks later…

Kaige opened her eyes and didn't know where she was. She tried to sit up and found it impossible. Not only did her side hurt like a bitch, but something was also weighing down both her arms. She lifted her head and looked first left then right.

On her left, Zoro was curled against her side, most of his body resting on her arm. On her right, Flame was using her arm as a pillow. "Guys…" She tried rousing them for a few minutes, but her voice was hoarse and neither seemed to hear.

She tried clearing her throat, which drew the attention of Sanji. He stood from his position by the door. "You awake?" His words woke Zoro and Flame. They both turned anxious looks to her. "I'm fine, so stop looking at me like that and get me some water."

Sanji went for the water while the others explained what happened. "After you fainted, Hatori came and fixed you up. We're at the main Sohma house. Hatori volunteered to take care of you until you're completed healed."

Kaige nodded slightly. "But… did you kick her for me?" Flame laughed at the question. "Yes, multiple times." Kaige smiled and drifted back off to sleep.

A/N- Okay. I don't hate anyone in Fruits Basket. So writing some of this didn't make me the happiest of people. But once I thought it up, I had to write it. So recall that all people who get killed eventually come back. (Even those that are the killers… they sometimes get killed multiple times…)


	8. What's worse, the car or the darts?

A/N- Okay, half of this was written while I was sick and the other half while I wasn't exactly sure what the hell I should be writing. Of all the files, this was the biggest bitch to write… -- So please enjoy!

The Anime Murder Files

Case No. 11- What's worse, the car or the darts?

Investigating Detectives- Mainly Flame with Kaige dragging herself along behind her.

The Victim- Natsuki Mogi, a young college student, was found bleeding and broken on Akina's downhill run. It's possible that she was beaten to death, but it looks far too much like a hit and run.

The Suspects:

Takumi Fujiwara- He's a legend around the area for being the best on Akina's downhill. He's driven the route so frequently he could do it in his sleep. It wouldn't make sense for him to get in accident… unless that's what he wanted you to think. He and the victim were involved at one time, who's to say he didn't harbor some sort of grudge against the girl?

Bunta Fujiwara- Reports all say that he's retired from racing, but that doesn't necessarily mean he wasn't out delivering tofu. What's a little murder with your tofu? It gives it flavor… yeah… flavor… of death!

Itsuki Takeuchi- A youth inspired to become a racer. It'll take years before he becomes good enough, years of hard practice with a place that's familiar to him. Nothing more familiar than your home turf…

Ryosuke Takahashi- He seems to know something… okay, perhaps he knows everything, but he's keeping a tight lid on what he does know.

Kouichiro Iketani, Keisuke Takahashi, Kyoko Iwase, and Kenji- All racers with some ties to the area, any of them could have been driving on that road. In fact, it could just as easily been any of the other person… but where would the fun be in that?

Cough… cough…

The phone rang and rang insistently. Kaige stared blankly at it, not quite comprehending what it wanted her to do. It stopped abruptly and she turned back over in bed, setting off a fresh wave of coughing that continued until she stood up and made her way to the bathroom. "Can't sleep… better go to work and make someone else sick. Otherwise the germs will never leave me."

An hour later…

Kaige heaved a sigh of relief as she opened the front door of her apartment building. The trip from her apartment on the 3rd floor should have taken all of a few minutes, unless a person was sick and was seeing double. In trying to choose the right stair image to walk down, she'd chosen poorly and ended up hanging from the railing. Had Flame not taken the time to stop in on her way to a crime scene, it would have been days before anyone noticed.

"Are you really sure you should be going to work?" This was the third time Flame had asked the question. "Yeah, yeah… you asked that already. I'm fine… really." Kaige lied easily enough, but the fact that she crawled into the back seat and curled into a ball said otherwise.

Ignoring the occasional cough and moan from Kaige, Flame drove to the crime scene that awaited her. It was crawling with the usual array of cops, investigators, media and gawkers. In the middle of it all was the body of a young girl. Heaving an irritated sigh upon recognizing the girl, Flame went to do her job.

The detective closest to the body let out a sigh similar to the one Flame had let out. He'd been at one of the previous crime scenes involving Flame and Kaige. Flame watched the man walk towards her, very aware of the hostility coming from him. He stopped a few steps away and leveled a glare at her. "I don't want you or your partner near my scene."

Flame's eyes narrowed angrily. "It's far too late for that." Flame made a motion to where the body was laying, the detective turned to find Kaige leaning over the body. "God damn it!"

As the man turned to walk toward Kaige, Flame lunged forward, stabbing a pen into the man's throat. He made a move towards his gun, which was already being held by Flame. "Think you're safe in the middle of this crowd? I think not…" The pen sank deeper, pushing into a major artery. She left him bleeding in the road.

"Doesn't look like a hit and run to me." Kaige shook her head and wobbled slightly. "But, I'll take care of that." She drew a piece of chalk from her pocket and began drawing skid marks on the victim.

Flame continued to ignore her partner's actions, choosing instead to look for suspects in the gathered crowd. It was most likely that the person would return to check out the job he'd done on the girl. One man stood apart from the group, Ryosuke Takahashi.

He watched the scene very closely and seemed to take in every detail. Yet he looked bored, as if he knew all of this already and was only there for show. She caught his eye and held it. Ryosuke knew… he broke the contact to look over at the closest group to him. It must be a hint!

Flame crossed the road, leaving Kaige drawing what looked to be a horse's ass coming out of the side of Natsuki. The group consisted of racers, which was quite handy considering that's who she was looking for. The group had been talking candidly about the death, but had fallen silent at her arrival. "Oh no, don't shut up just for me! I'd rather you continue your conversation and give me the clues for your downfalls."

One look at her deadly serious face was enough for one of the men to try to make a break for it. "Itsuki, why the hell are you running?" Takumi asked his friend who'd only made it a few steps before being brought down by a mysterious suction cup dart.

Flame gasped in shock. "That's poisonous! Quick! Tell me what you know before you die!" Itsuki grasped desperately at the offending dart, but couldn't budge it from his arm. "I saw it… saw everything… it was…" Another suction cup dart hit dead center of his forehead; he gave one more fetal gasp, "…blue car…" and died.

Flame growled and searched the crowd to see where the darts had come from. Everyone was pointedly looking in another direction. "Oh, come on! Someone must have seen who threw them!" The crowd began to disperse, fearing Flame's wrath. Kaige raised an arm and waved it in her general direction. "Oooh! Oooh! Call on me!"

Shaking her head in exasperation, she asked. "Okay, what did you see?" Kaige grinned from ear to ear and burst into a fit of coughing. Every time Kaige tried to tell Flame the identity of the suction cup murderer she just started coughing more and more. "Ah screw it, I didn't see anything." The coughs subsided and stopped altogether. "Son of a bitch!"

Confused by Kaige's outburst, Flame turned back to her suspects. Ryosuke was glaring at Takumi's father, who had a hand in his pocket and was grinning widely at the younger racer. Flame eyed the two men before shaking her head, probably just a pissing contest. But besides that, two other racers were mysteriously dead.

"I turn my back for one fucking minute and two people die! What the hell!" The two were identified by Takumi as Iketani and Kenji. The two had seen something they weren't supposed to, the point made by the suction cup darts sticking out of their eye sockets. "This is just getting ridiculous. Everyone empty their fucking pockets right now!"

Ryosuke was the first to comply, smugly glaring at Bunta who had paled at Flame's order. The other's followed suit, first Keisuke Takahashi, and the girl who was raping him with her eyes, and then Takumi. Bunta was the only person left. He pulled his right hand out of one pocket and held it behind his back, showing empty pockets with his left hand.

"Damn, thought it'd be so simple to catch them…" Pissed that the plan had failed, Flame randomly killed Kyoko Iwase for eye-raping Keisuke. Ryosuke watched for a moment before he finally snapped. "God damn it, it's so freaking simple! Why am I the only one who seems to figure everything out? Why must it always be me that explains the who, what, and why of every little thing? Bunta's the murderer! He's got the darts behind his back! He ran over the girl with his car and has been covering it up this whole time!"

Bunta looked nervously from Ryosuke to Flame. "I did no such thing! And I don't have any darts in my hand." A person standing a few feet behind him let out a scream and fell to the ground. "Oh my god! A poison suction cup dart! I'm doomed! Doomed to die! Why hasn't anyone made a antidote for such a horrible thing?"

Ryosuke smacked his forehead and walked away. "That's it, I can't take any more of this crap. I'm going to go get a job as a detective so this crap doesn't happen anymore." The assorted group watched him walk away. "Oh the agony! This poison is slowly working its way through my system! It's such a cruel, cruel fate for one such as I! Only yesterday I got a raise at my work and my wife is expecting my child! Now they must go on without me! For this is a cruel, cruel world!"

Flame turned her attention away from Ryosuke's receding back to pin Bunta with an assessing look. "You're acting very suspicious for someone who's supposedly innocent. What type of car are you driving now-a-days, since Takumi's driving your old 8-6?"

"Oh, that Impreza sitting over there on the side." He pointed over to an oddly painted purple car. Raising an eyebrow, Flame crossed over to the car and touched her hand to it. "What color was it before you painted it purple?" She wiped the purple paint on a random person and watched Bunta look about for means of escape.

"No, don't cry for me. For it is too late for tears, just let my family know that I love them! Let them know that in the end, I died with a smile on my face and a song in my heart." A growl sounded from Kaige and she was by the man's side with a shotgun. "What do you plan to do with that? Hey, hey… no!" The gun shot blast distracted everyone long enough for Bunta to try to make a break for it.

He was nearly inside one of the cop cars that littered the road when he fell to the ground. Stuck in a long line down his back were rows upon rows of suction cup darts. "Where the hell did those come from! Ah damn it, screw this, I don't care anymore!" Flame turned and hustled Kaige into her waiting car. "I hope whoever's doing it kills the whole lot of you!" She shut her door against a barrage of darts and drove off quickly, side-swiping a few people in her haste.

Kaige watched Flame closely as she drove down the hill at top speed. "Who in the world ever invented this poisonous suction cups? It doesn't even sound like a plausible weapon." Flame shook her head, half-annoyed at the question. "Isn't it obvious, it's the people at 4 Kids Entertainment that did that! They're evil incarnate and think that it makes sense for metal bullets to be made into poisonous suction cup darts."

Kaige nodded. "Ah, makes sense now. Do you think you could slow down? That's the fifth road sign you've run over." She held her hands up and backed further into her seat at the glare Flame angled at her. "But if they offend you that much, feel free to kill them all." Kaige settled back and closed her eyes, intent on blanking out the view of the passing landscape and to sleep over her lingering illness.

A/N- As I'm actually have quite a few things piling up on me, it's probably going to be awhile before the next file… so see ya next time! Oh and if you're wondering about my obsession of suction cup darts… it's because of the crap that 4 Kids did to One Piece… what the hell sort of crap is that anyway! 


	9. Disgruntled No More

A/N- So I lied. It's not going to be a big one. But… for sanity's sake, my sanity that is, I'm just going to go with what popped up into my head instead of trying to write a long piece of drivel. I've done crap like that before and it doesn't make me particularly happy. So please enjoy either way. :P

The Anime Murder Files

Case No. 12- Disgruntled No More

Investigating Detectives- Zoro and Sanji?

The Victims- Captain Kuro and his crew. They were found dead on their busted up ship. The strange thing was that there were no distinguishing marks on their bodies, nothing to point to the cause of death.

The Suspects: More people than I ever care to list. So I won't.

Insert dramatic music here.

It was oddly quiet in the office, a little too quiet. The lack of noise, whining, had Zoro opening an eye. Kaige was nowhere to be seen and the fact that Sanji couldn't be heard hitting on Flame led him to believe that they were out on a case.

The cook entered the room before Zoro had a chance to return to his nap. "What do you want?" Zoro growled, his hand sidling closer to the hilt of a katana.

Sanji's curled brow lifted in challenge. "You wanna fight, marimo-head?" His leg was lifted vertical to his body, ready to strike when the door banged open once more. A harried Kaige entered, followed by Flame. Hearts appeared in his eyes and the leg dropped faster then the eye could follow. "Flame-chwan! Kaige-swan!"

His progress was stopped by two annoyed glares. "I'll go make you two some lunch." His escape was made quickly, leaving Zoro to brave the fallout of whatever had happened that day. He inched towards the door, wishing himself invisible.

"Oh no, Zoro-kun, you're not going anywhere." Flame left the room in pursuit of Sanji, slamming the door as Kaige stepped directly in to his path. "We have a little problem that you and Sanji can help us with." She grinned brightly at the swordsman turned white.

After dragging the two into the office's one meeting room, Flame began the impromptu meeting. "It came to some people higher up on the food chain then us, that we were taking certain liberties with our cases. So they've decided to suspend our licenses until we get some additional training and what-not."

Kaige grumbled in her seat to the left of Flame. "It's not my fault they found out about all those dead suspects. It was only efficient to burn them in a bonfire in front of the office." She quieted at a glare from Flame.

"So, that leaves Jake shorthanded, so he's decided to let you two take over the current case that just came in. Even if you both are potential suspects." Flame eyed them both suspiciously.

Zoro shook his head and stood. "Count me out, I'd much rather go train or take a nap." He stopped moving as he saw the calculating look on Kaige's face. "I guess that means Sanji will win then."

His eyes narrowed with a dangerous look. "What did you say?"

Kaige laughed quietly in her head, she had him exactly where she wanted him. "Whoever solved the case first was going to get a bonus. So I suppose that means Sanji will be getting the bonus."

Tension rose in the room as Sanji and Zoro glared at each other. "We'll see about that! I'm going to be the one to solve the case! What do you mean! It'll be me!" This was said by both of the men in union as they pushed and shoved to get out of the room.

An hour later, after finally getting out of the room and returning to get the case file, Sanji and Zoro were on their way to Kuro's boat…

Sanji and Zoro had gone in separate directions after leaving work. Zoro found himself climbing a mountain. "Damn it, didn't they say go north to get to that damn beach?" At the summit, he looked down upon the land and saw the ocean in the opposite direction. "Shit!"

At the ship…

Sanji stared at the pile of bodies, handily covered with a tarp. From what he'd heard, there were no obvious signs of struggle or what killed them. He knew without a doubt that none of his crew could have killed them. They would have left some sort of distinguishing mark that he would have known.

He looked up as a cab arrived on the scene. Kaige, Flame, and a heavily sweating Zoro exited it. Kaige glared at the cabbie, as he demanded payment. "If you want to live… you'll drive away now before I shove my foot so far up your ass it comes out your eye sockets."

The cab screeched off, leaving the smell of burning rubber to remember it by. Sanji immediately forgot the work at hand to squeeze between Flame and Kaige to lead them onboard the ship. Not to be out done by the cook, Zoro started examining the bodies of his former enemies.

"If there's no evidence on the outside, perhaps there's some on the inside." Zoro spoke his thoughts out loud. Flame nodded her agreement. "The medical examiner will tell you…" Zoro unsheathed his katanas and sliced the bodies open, blood flew in every direction, candy-coating everyone red.

"So… what am I looking for?" Zoro asked as the others sputtered and tried to spit out the blood that'd fallen on them.

Flame, who'd been talking and got the worst of it, took a threatening step forward. "Oh, I'll show you, just let me borrow that katana." Unsuspecting he nearly gave one to her, but was interrupted by Sanji's foot connecting with his face.

An explosion marked Zoro's landing, and the beginning of another fight. While the two traded blows, Flame and Kaige examined what was left of the bodies. The only thing that became apparent was that the throats of each victim had swollen shut.

"Well, they obviously asphyxiated but there's still little to know evidence here." Kaige fell back on her heels from her former hunched position.

"But it does narrow the playing field quite a bit. It's either someone with some sort of elemental like devil fruit power… or it's Jango." After Flame's deduction, they left the two pirates to fight out their differences.

A half hour later, back at the office…

It had been surprising easy to find the men capable of taking out Kuro and his men. The suspects were two Marines and two pirates. Flame let them sit in uncomfortable silence, while trying to get Kaige to come out of her office.

"If I can't kill anyone, where's the fun in finding the murderer!" Kaige's voice carried over to where the suspects were waiting. Smoker stood and glared at Flame. "If you don't mind, I have pirates to catch, so could we got on with this?"

"You better watch out, or I'll let Kaige loose on the lot of you." Smoker quieted and let out a puff of cigar smoke in disgust.

Kaige came running into the room. "Did you say I could kill? Did ya? Did ya!" Like an excited puppy, she ran around the room briefly before running out of the office and down the street, killing random people who crossed her path.

Flame cursed under her breath, but had no time to pursue her wayward partner as Zoro entered carrying an unconscious Kaige, Sanji following on his heels. "How'd you subdue her so quickly?"

Zoro dropped to the floor, setting Kaige beside him. "We realized that we still had a job to do, so we called the fight off. She barreled into us on the street, bounced off and got hit by a car. But surprising enough, she seems to be okay."

"Why's Ace and Crocodile here? It seems unlikely that they could have anything to do with these murders. Ace has no motive and Crocodile has neither motive nor opportunity." Sanji's theory seemed to make Jango nervous.

"And while it's highly likely that Smoker could have killed them, he also has no real motive. Isn't that right, Jango?" Zoro bristled in the background, pissed that Sanji had beaten him to the punch.

"The question is why didn't you just arrest them? Why did you kill them? If it was so easy to hypnotize them to death, wouldn't it have been just as easy to hypnotize them into giving themselves up?" Kaige spoke up from the ground, wiping a trickle of blood from her forehead as she pushed herself to her feet.

Jango stood abruptly, knocking his chair over in the process. "When in truth, this was only the beginning of your little killing spree. You only used Kuro and his crew as test subjects. You wanted to be sure that you could kill in this way and get away with it. Just who were you going to kill next?"

She'd backed the hypnotist into a corner. Jango began to tremble and Kaige barely had enough time to dodge the pendulum as it swung at her throat. "I was going to get to the top of the Marines the easy way. Someone has to run the show after the top brass is killed, no?"

Kaige grinned evilly as the he took another swing at her. "I guess this means I must defend myself." She rushed Jango, catching him off guard and crashed him through the window. He would have fallen to his death had Smoker been a little slower in catching him.

Later that day…

Jake returned to the office from a meeting with his bosses. It had been a long afternoon, talking them out of firing Kaige and Flame entirely. While their methods were unorthodox, they were still some of the best detectives he'd ever worked with.

The glass had been cleaned up before his return, so he didn't know anything was amiss until he went to give Kaige and Flame the good news. He took in the boarded up window and Kaige holding a towel to her still-bleeding head.

"I'm not even going to ask. I just wanted to tell you that, the higher ups decided to let you two return to work." With that he went to call it a day with two giant aspirin to keep him company.

A/N (Disclaimer too!)- Well, there ya go. Another one down. I don't own One Piece and what not. Also, just a note about the name of this chapter. Kuro looks like a businessman to me. So I'd taken to calling him the Disgruntled Businessman.

And final note… I will not post this story on anymore. I don't want it stolen or copied (I'd understand if someone asked me, but I wasn't and it pissed me off.) like it already has been. But I made a page in which I'll be posting my work If I find that stuff gets stolen, I may just not post my stories for anyone but my friends to read.


End file.
